Happy Thanksgiving

I've realized how much I kinda miss blogging about life, about what's been keeping me busy all the time, and about my goals (which change every other second). Thanskgiving is an appropriate time to start this up again, I think. A day of appreciating everything you have even if you're not as happy as you could be with everything in life that's happened so far. Which is why Thanksgiving is there to force you to turn around and realize how incredibly lucky you really are no matter how much things don't work out the way you've planned, and no matter how much you want to eliminate all uncertainty from your life (just in the near future) . I'm pretty sure I'm the most anal retentive person I know, and I'm trying to be better at it (at least I'm not in denial right?). I also tend to be really hard on myself, and I should really not be because it's just wasted energy in the end and just makes me come off as a weaker person.

So here it goes. Hopefully I'll keep this up, at least through the end of college.

I am SO lucky. And thankful for everything. Family, friends, wonderful and supportive mentors, the experiences I've had at UT and in the city of Austin itself, which I've definitely fallen in love with.

I'm really happy about the fact that my entire summer is open, options are totally open--from going abroad and interning somewhere to staying in the U.S. and just working somewhere new. No more summer school, no more MCAT, this summer I am free to do whatever the hell I want and this makes me so incredibly happy. I just need to decide what to do and make sure I have the money to do it, which is easier said than done....

Next semester looks like it's pretty set: Biochem 2, Developmental Bio, Human Infectious Diseases (hooray!), my TC for Plan II (History of American Medicine with Oshinsky, I was trying SO hard to avoid anything that has to do with medicine, but alas, it's all that fits my schedule and isn't anything literature-like, plus the fact that Oshinsky got the Pulitzer for a book on polio that is at the top of my to-read list is pretty sweet), DS seminar, and then, the cherry on top--a grad class at the UT School of Public Health, my first one toward the Certificate Program and my Masters--Social and Behavioral Aspects of Community Health, taught by one of my most FAVORITE profs at UT (amazing person, super helpful). I'll be finishing up my work at the State Health Department for next month, and maybe signing up for thesis hours to start writing the thing (Dr. Field is my thesis advisor, which makes me ridiculously happy, she is so supportive and cares so much, I love her) .

So something that's been bothering me a little lately as well is, what to do when I'm done with my work at the health department? My experience there has been pretty great, to say the least. I never dreamed I would get as much accomplished there as I did in one semester (plus a month next semester), and my work there was the perfect follow-up to my semester in Legislative work at Shapleigh's office. All of these experiences have definitely re-affirmed what I want to do in life. Next step? Nonprofits woo! and I think I may have just found the perfect one in Austin to work at. When I start this depends on if they can take me mid-semester (since I won't have time to start while I'm still at TDSHS)...I just hope I'll have time to do this...at the same time, I don't want to cram too much into next semestser, I'll have to play it by ear and see how it goes...

If I can get started with that, and sort out my summer, I'll be a pretty happy camper.

Semester recap: DS stuff is going alright, (except tutoring, which will happen in January for sure or I will chop off my right pinky) and OJ Service stuff has gone so smoothly this semester, which is great. I feel like my contact with Austin nonprofits through OJs has definitely sparked my interest in getting more involved independently with the ones that appeal to me because some of the things they're able to do are incredible. I'm trying to get back involved with other things I was involved with before, but everything I'm doing now really eats up my time and leaves me with barely any time to do homework, except on weekends which are usually work marathons. Still, I feel like this is the first semester when I've done a LOT less school work for most of my classes than usual, which might be due to the fact that I'm taking Plan II Logic (which is the most useless class on the face of the planet, seriously), my TC has been fantastic so far (Emerging Economies, super interesting stuff, something totally new and I love it, especially my term paper and the fact that it's on a topic I'm really interested in...), Biochem I exams are all open book which means it's easy to 'study' for, just understanding concepts and working problems/the sample tests, and my other classes (microbio lab, which can be fun actually minus having to go in on weekends, and BIO 226T, which is just a lot of memorization) aren't bad. I'm really glad, though, that my classes aren't as demanding as they have been in the past because working at the state health department has really eaten into my life this semester, much more so than my legislative work last semester (which I was somehow able to do with two labs, and tons of class on top of that). I think recently I've also come to take a liking to some of my science professors a lot more than my liberal arts professors, or I feel like a lot of liberal arts professors hold very strong opinions and perceptions about things, and if you happen to not share them, you sink. I haven't really had this sort of problem in classes, per se, but outside of them. I had an interview recently that was kind of a slap in the face, when I expressed a view that I had virtually firsthand knowledge to back up, yet a few faculty panel members did not agree with it, and it hurt me. You can't steer the direction of an interview, or make the panel ask you what you want to be asked. You can't make the panel see parts of you that are stonger if all they're trying to do is exploit weaknesses, and make you question your goals and the strength with which you hold your beliefs. And you can't be thrown off when they overlook the importance of certain experiences you've had and practically avoid discussing what you're really passionate about. Beyond that, though, I know my downfall was my lack of confidence, self-assuredness and finesse, and tendency to second-guess, not anything else. It was all me. But I swear I'm working on it.

So yeah, life's going okay even if there have been some downs. Thanksgiving's purpose is to celebrate the ups and appreciate all that I have, which is a LOT to be thankful for. Well, on with my Thanksgiving, with family I haven't seen in three months, a mountain of crap to work on, a ridiculous amount of good food, and probably some long nights at mom's office.
Peace out