november nervousness

So every time I read a bio about John McCain, I have this crazy reaction to him. I get this new kind of respect for the guy and then all of a sudden get this rush of feelings and feel really sorry for him. He was such a tough guy, going through everything he went through in Vietnam. That's had to have left some sort of serious emotional trauma on him....

We were talking about wars and such in my office today when I had lunch with my staff (my director was drafted during Vietnam, served as a medic). But with this whole McCain thing, I mean you have a man who's seen what war is like, (especially as atrocious as it must have been in Vietnam. It has scarred the man both physically, and I'm sure, mentally/emotionally). And YET even though you have this guy who's been through all of this, you have to stop and ask yourself how the hell he's so committed to let Iraqfiasco continue! I can't understand it! And I think a big big big reason why people are buying into his argument that we should be in Iraq still, and why people are kind of legitimizing it in their head and supporting McCain for this, is because they've read this about McCain's background and about his OWN experiences with the war. And they think that if a man who's gone through so much suffering in a Nixon war says that we should continue with this Bush war, then he's the best person to say we should do it because he knows what it's like on front lines. He is John McCain, toughguy, macho, war hero extraordinaire.

And that is SO totally WRONG. I also get the feeling that he's doing this just to save face with the Republican party, because he does depart from Republican ideals in a few other areas, despite his generally rugged Conservatism.

I need the Democrats to win in November. I don't care if it's Hillary (it won't be). I don't care if it's Obama. I just want blue in the White House. Enough is enough. We have so many other priorities that this government is not addressing, including the disastrous state of healthcare, America's schools, this economy, and much more. Healthcare right now in the U.S. has gone to shit. And private insurance companies are eating people alive. EATING. And rolling disgustingly in a sick amount of profit.

Speaking of healthcare, the more and more I read about healthcare in America, the less and less optimistic I am about either Hillary or Obama's health plans. The more I read, I realize how unfeasible BOTH of them are in today's America. I think part of the reason the United States hasn't achieved universal health care is because it's so quirk-ily capitalistic, if that makes sense. But anyways, the important thing is that even though their plans are unrealistic, both of them are progressive steps in the right direction. The distinctions between them will ultimately not matter (because I'm sure both will fail), but both candidates will make it a point to give this country's healthcare system the kind of funding it means so more people are insured, health plans are more comprehensive, and quality of care doesn't suffer. And that is definitely what we need right now. Not a president who's willing to continue to minimally fund healthcare, and to continue to let insurance companies that have become so "corporate-ized" dictate who gets insurance, who doesn't, and who gets to pay an arm and a leg to get the care they need.

Day 1

The first day of my internship is over. It was both fabulous and overwhelming. It's weird to be living alone in a completely strange city, but I think this kind of experience will be a good thing for me, even if I do miss Austin and home and Texas and everyone there. I'll be plenty busy. And I'm going to try to make sure I keep this thing up while I'm here.

I'll have so much to work on at the office, from new global health initiatives in Africa, to helping fact-check/edit Rosalynn Carter's new book, to planning a mental health symposium for the Fall, to working on White House initiatives for mental health insurance (apparently Bush has promised to veto the bill that my office is trying to get passed that provides more equity in mental health care. Ted Kennedy's newly discovered glioma is a huge problem because he was originally the Democrat in the Senate spearheading the effort to get that bill passed, and now he's going to be MIA. And even though Rosalynn Carter got Pelosi to get the bill on the ground, it hasn't gotten very far....politics is always like that. I remember back when literally a majority of the bills I worked on in Shapleigh's office in Austin didn't even make it to the freakin floor...).

I spent most of the day after my orientation reading applications for a Journalism Fellowship/grant that the program provides to journalists and freelance writers to cover mental health issues and reduce stigma. It was interesting.

I feel like I've learned a ton in just one day.

The Carter Center and the Presidential Library/Museum that joins it are absolutely beautiful. The Carters' offices are stunning. The artwork is ridiculously awesome (President Carter was bff with Andy Warhol!) The gardens are magnificent. The foreign dignitary meeting room is probably my favorite room. The staff I work for is wonderful. The director of my program (former assistant surgeon general might I add) is my new hero, I met with him for something like an hour today and we just talked. The other interns seem amazing, so much more well-travelled and culturally literate than I am... seriously. I have a ton of respect of Rosalynn Carter. I learned today that Jimmy Carter won a Grammy (what!), which is on display in one of the halls, among a hodgepodge of numerous other random Carter memorabilia. Holla.

Also

I'm not sure why an administration that had no qualms about unilaterally invading another country can't seem to find it in itself to intervene in Burma to give it the kind of humanitarian aid it so badly needs. Isn't not helping them out kind of a human rights violation in itself, even if Burma's military dictatorship is acting idiotically incompetent?

Of course, it's probably dangerous to invade Burma with all its xenophobia and volatility....but then how many people have died in Iraq again?? Seriously.

Umm, oh well I guess? At least China's got good sense?

And what's up with Barack Obama shirking away from Hamas? Doesn't that sort of contradict everything he's stood for foreign-policy-wise throughout his entire campaign? Or is it possible that Obama's started regretting his statements about meeting with hostile nations without preconditions, and that he's seen how much crap Jimmy Carter's gotten for his Hamas dealings? Not that I'm sure we should even be talking to Hamas in the first place (I still need to do more research on that), but there's kind of a discrepancy there.....

Hello summer

Junior year is over. I don't think that's hit me quite yet. It was such a good year, academically and otherwise. It was a lot of work, and I was busy all the time, but I wouldn't be happy any other way. And the best part is, next year is going to be even better. I've been home for a day after a nine hour drive from Austin and have realized that I'm not going to be in Austin for an entire three months. And my family kind of hates me for hardly being home this summer at all so I'm trying to spend as much time with them right now as I can. Of course, it doesn't help that my mom works 11-12 hour days, so it's not like I can really hang out with her other than evenings and partly weekends when she's not cooped up in the office. Brother is still in school. So I end up watching good old Bill-O at night with dad (it's how we bond), which inevitably turns into huuuuge arguments as you can imagine (but it's all in good fun! have I mentioned how much he can't STAND what I'm doing this summer? ah well...my dad is still pretty great, even if he is Republican.).

Speaking of summer, it's going to be freakin AWESOME. (My schedule is posted on Facebook for reference). Atlanta in just 9 days or something ridiculous like that, with a few trips here and there while I'm in Georgia. East coast trip this weekend for my cousin's graduation from UPenn. I wish I could be in two places at once to see the seniors graduate in Austin though :(

I have yet to start my apps, after taking my last final on Tuesday afternoon, I've been sooo lazy. Hopefully I'll get on that soon. I have, however, started working on some things for next year which I am wayyy excited about, and better come through. I really hope I'll have time to do work on all this in Atlanta as well.

And I'm going to keep this blog going for the summer, especially during my internship. I anticipate that this is going to be one of those career-defining, introspective, "a-ha! moment" type experiences. I've had two of them so far during my college career. This will be the third.

Right now, I'm reading Beyond the White House: Waging Peace, Fighting Disease and Building Hope. (http://www.cartercenter.org/news/pr/beyondwhitehouse.html). It's Jimmy Carter's memoir on his post-presidency and philanthropy. holler.

This summer is going to fly.

I've pretty much planned out the rest of 2008 in the month of April.

My week is officially over, sorta, after turning in a 15 page paper on Tuesday and taking a test today.

And among the bazillion million things going on and one full week of school left, I can't believe I've finally succeeded in planning out my entire summer and most of Senior year, and it's going to be absolutely fabulous.

Between now and summer workwise and otherwise, goes a little something like this:
This weekend...plans still up in the air....(I am so great at being last-minute), then a test next Thurs I don't need to worry too much about, and a 25 page paper, of which I have 20 pages written. thank. god. Plus lots of loose ends to tie up.
Then dead week and two finals to take, one on Friday, one on Tuesday, very nicely spaced.
Drive home to El Paso on Wednesday. I can't wait to see my family.
Start med school apps in the meantime (current target = the best five year MD/MPH program I can get).
Spend the weekend in Philly with my mom for my cousin's graduation from Penn.
Come back home for a week and then head to Atlanta, a city I pretty much know nothing about and nobody in. It's going to be great. I've secured a 1 bedroom apartment in a pretty nice neighborhood. I can't wait to meet all the other interns and get started at TCC. I also need a bike.
10 weeks in Atlanta, full-time interning, working on med school apps, and exploring as much of the city as I can (throwing in visits to Emory, the CDC, the Carters' hometown, FDR's warm springs, maybe Charleston or something? oh and the rents/brother are coming up for 4th of July weekend to go to Savannah, should be fun!).
Come home in early August, possible trip in the works, otherwise chill at home, and then head back to Austin mid-late August. Start Senior year.

And things for Senior year and looking absolutely fantastic as well, I have sooo much to look forward to. Everything is shaping up so nicely! It's hard to believe that just three weeks ago, I had no idea what the hell I'd be doing this summer or next semester. Today, it all looks SOLID.

Just gotta make it through these next few weeks!!

Had to post this because it meant a lot to me

Probably one of the few people who makes it a point to read other's blogs sent me the sweetest, most heartwarming message that it warranted a post, and I hope the writer of this doesn't mind that I posted it! I just felt so floored after getting it, it meant so much to me:

"I know email is incredibly informal, unpersonal, and implies that the writer lacks the time to tell you something in person, but believe me when I say this isn't the case.

I wanted to just tell you-- sometime, in the last couple of weeks or so, I don't know when it hit me, but I had this realization. I realized that I'm so incredibly glad I got to know you better this semester. You and I kind of run in the same circles, but kind of not the same circles [because we're different years, therefore we're in different classes, and we've never lived near each other either], and you've been one of those people that I tell myself "wow, I'd really like to get to know her" because you are awesome, and I'd like to hope that people look up to me like I look up to you.

It's been by slightly-serendipitous, a bit of plans-gone-awry, but all sorts of awesomeness that you and I have gotten the chance to hang out this semester, and I'm so thankful for it. I really feel like I can say "yeah, I know Richa Gupta, she's MY friend", and say it meaningfully [not that "acquaintance" type crap that you get with a lot of people you're just facebook friends with, if you get what I mean].

As things are for people like you and me, I'm sure the end of the semester will all of a sudden become jam packed with things to do in the next few days [despite the fact there are already a million things to do before the semester ends], and so I wanted to remember to write this to you and let you know that you are awesome, and I can't wait to get to see you even more next year.

You definitely inspire me Richa :)"

Can't even begin to say how much this made me feel like I must be doing something right. And how I am so lucky to have the best friends in the world.